Every Tuesday morning, the previous night's Gossip Girl is broken down by New York Magazine and assigned scores according to its amusing "reality index."

Below are some highlights (and lowlights) from the magazine's analysis of "The Magnificent Archibalds." Leave a comment at the bottom with your own!

• That was it? Lily's big secret was that she was in an institution? Serena killed someone. This is a bit of a letdown. Minus 3.

• "You don't know how he's been," Jenny says to Lily, as if Rufus has been making really unreasonable demands - insisting she go to school and not act like whore. Plus 2, because to a delinquent teenager, those are unreasonable demands.

• Jenny was staying at Lily's and the army of servants and private investigators didn't find out? What? What do they pay these people for? Minus 3.

• Rufus is in Lily's cell phone as "R." The code means the love! Plus 2.

• Holy. F*%king. Fishnets. Serena's Thanksgiving dress makes her ass look like a soggy, flat apricot. A slutty apricot. Minus 5.

• Jenny's raccoon makeup is symbolically gone in the last scene. It's like how Eric got rid of his highlights when he finally came out! Plus 2.

• Dorota's ring for Eleanor is Britney Spears' "I'm a Slave 4 U." Plus 25.

• Nate went away for a couple of weeks to be with his mom, then just showed up at school? You can't just ditch for no reason and miss half a semester. Minus 4.

Steve Marsi is the Managing Editor of TV Fanatic. Follow him on Google+ or email him here.