Barney Gumble

Barnard "Barney" Gumble is Springfield's town drunk and one of Homer's best friends.  Barney apparently had a lot of potential and planned on going to Harvard until Homer introduced him to beer the day before they took the SATs.  Since then, Barney has proven a few times he's more than just a drunk when he forms a successful barbershop quartet, snow plow business, and trained as an astronaut.  But don't worry, he mostly just wastes his life away at Moe's.

Barney Gumble Quotes

Bart: Murderous mob, I beg you to spare our lives. At least until you've heard the story of how we ended up with the head of our beloved town founder.
Barney: How long will this story take?
Bart: Uh, about twenty-three minutes and five seconds.

Barney: I got me a part time job working as a Santa down at the mall.
Homer: Wow, can I do that?
Barney: I dunno, they're pretty selective. (Barney belches loudly)

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The Simpsons Quotes

Larry: What you got riding on this?
Homer: My daughter.
Larry: What a gambler!

Maggie? Oh, you must be sick. Let's see, what's old Dr. Washburn prescibe? Do you have dropsy? The grippe? Scofula? The vapors? Jungle rot? Dandy fever? Poor man's gout? Housemaid's knee? Climatic poopow? The staggers? Dum-dum fever?

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