Callie: It's a little early in the day for that don't you think?
Derek: You sound like my mother.
Callie: I met your mother, I liked her.
Derek: Who sent you? Richard?
Callie: Uh, Bailey.
Derek: Of course.

Miranda: O'Malley, Grey, I need you on pre ops and post ops.
Meredith: But, there's the biggest surgery in the world happening here today.
Miranda: Yes, and half our attendings are involved. Which is why we need strong residents on pre ops and post ops. Yang, you're with me today. Your moving to the big leagues.
Meredith: What?
George: She gets a solo?
Cristina: Today?
Miranda: Nice old lady with a hernia. You're gonna fix it.
Meredith: Congratulations. I know I should seem more enthusiastic, but I'm not that big a person.
Cristina: Don't worry about it.
George: Is it wrong to have hatred in your heart?

George: Dr. Sloan, you only need one resident?
Mark: Wait for Bailey. There's already gonna be enough of a crowd.
Meredith: What the hell?

Mark: Ah, Stevens, Grey.
Meredith: Yes!
Mark: No, the other Grey.
Lexie: Really? Great.
Meredith: Great.
Mark: You did an awesome job in there. Call me after the pre op labs come in.

Callie: Hey who moved my surgery? Chief? Chief..?
Miranda: Don't, just don't. He's a wreck. He's decintergrating before our very eyes. That's why men die earlier than women.
Callie: Mmmm, the boards a mess.
Miranda: He can't lose Shepherd. I mean, I'd go talk some sense into him but, I've got too much on my plate.
Callie: Have you tried calling him?
Miranda: About a hundred times.
Callie: No.... No... Oh you, you want me to go to the woods? No. Ah, I don't do woods. The woods are dirty, and there are many many bugs. What am I gonna say to the guy? I barely know him.
Miranda: You don't have to know him, you're both surgeons. You've been through the same war. Look, just remind him that we've all been there, we all came back.
Callie: You're kind of a bully, you know that?
Miranda: Wouldn't do it if it didn't work so well.

Miranda: Ah Chief, I need to ask you something
Richard: Sloan, have you heard from Derek?
Mark: No.
Richard: Oh, I'm sorry. You were saying? Oh! Meredith!
Meredith: No, I don't know how he is. I've heard nothing. Nothing today, nothing yesterday, and nothing the day before that. And no, I will not go back out there.

Meredith: What are you doing here I told you I was fine.
Cristina: Oh god, you are so not fine.
Meredith: I'd be fine if I knew Derek was fine.
Izzie: You still haven't heart from him? Not a word?
Meredith: (shakes her head)

Alex: What are you hiding?
Izzie: Ah, nothing. It's just work stuff.
Alex: What is that? A cool surgery?
Izzie: No. It's nothing. It's nothing.
Alex: Well, whatever it is they're gonna pick me. I already flew solo. You're still on training wheels.

Practicing medicine doesn't lend itself to the making of friends. Maybe because life and mortality are in our faces all the time. Maybe because in staring down death everyday, we're forced to know that life, every minute is borrowed time. And each person, we let ourselves care about is just one more loss somewhere down the line. For this reason, I know some doctors who just don't bother making friends at all. But the rest of us, we make it our job to move that line. To push each loss as far away as we can.

Meredith (narrating)

Meredith (narrating): Surgeons aren't known for being warm and cuddly. They're arrogant, impatient, mean as often as not. You'd think they wouldn't have friends cos who could stand them? But surgeons, are like a bad cold. Nasty, but persistent. Surgeons: nasty, aggressive, unstoppable, just the kind of people you want on your side when you're really screwed.

Owen: Did you page me Dr. Bailey?
Miranda: Oh, yes, you finished with your part of the face transplant right?
Owen: Yup, but I cleared my schedule to watch Sloan and Dr. Yang do their surgery so whatever it is you need I hope it's not too time consuming
Miranda: That depends on how fast you can drive.... and talk.
Owen: I'm sorry?
Miranda: I need you to drive to the woods and talk Derek Shepherd into coming back here, and I believe you might also run into Callie Torres.
Owen: (stares blankly)
Miranda: ... with a flat tire, or a broken heal, or an axe wielding serial killer.
Owen: You serious?

Miranda: I've lost Hunt and Torres, see I sent them to get Shepherd and ... never heard from them again ... I was trying to solve the Shepherd situation for you sir, but it appears that I somehow made it three times worse.
Richard: [stares]
Miranda: So I'm telling you and my next move I believe is that I'm gonna call the police because I'm half convinced that they're all dead ... on a spit ... with an one armed man turning them into shish kabob sir ... It's my mind it just goes there.

Grey's Anatomy Season 5 Episode 18 Quotes

Miranda: I've lost Hunt and Torres, see I sent them to get Shepherd and ... never heard from them again ... I was trying to solve the Shepherd situation for you sir, but it appears that I somehow made it three times worse.
Richard: [stares]
Miranda: So I'm telling you and my next move I believe is that I'm gonna call the police because I'm half convinced that they're all dead ... on a spit ... with an one armed man turning them into shish kabob sir ... It's my mind it just goes there.

Miranda: Do I look like a therapist?!
Richard: You asked!