The Simpsons
Sundays 8:00 PM on FOXThe Simpsons Season 3 Episode 4: "Bart the Murderer" Quotes
Bart: More stink lines boys...
Skinner: What's this? What are you boys doing?
Bart: (yawn) You didn't see nothing, now beat it!
Folks, I'm pleased to announce a new truckload of Laramies with their smooth good taste and rich tobacco flavor is already heading towards Springfield and the driver has been instructed to ignore all stop signs and crosswalks.
Jack Larson
Homer: Bart!? Have you started smoking?
Bart: No!
Homer: Don't lie to me boy. Uh huh, cigarettes, just as I thought.
Bart: But they're not mine, my boss said his warehouse was full!
Homer: Yeah right, son, I'm going to teach you a lesson! I'm going to stand here and watch you smoke every one of those cigarettes!
Homer: Hey, look what I got, a genuine official police badge! "Calling all cars! Come out with your hands up!" Heh heh heh.
Bart: Hey, that's my badge, Homer!
Homer: That's Officer Homer, hee hee!
Fat Tony is a cancer on this fair city. He is the cancer, and I am the...um...What cures cancer?
Chief Wiggum
Bart: Uh, say, are you guys crooks?
Fat Tony: Bart, um, is it wrong to steal a loaf of bread to feed your starving family?
Bart: No.
Fat Tony: Well, suppose you got a large starving family. Is it wrong to steal a truckload of bread to feed them?
Bart: Uh uh.
Fat Tony: And, what if your family don't like bread? They like...cigarettes?
Bart: I guess that's okay.
Fat Tony: Now, what if instead of giving them away, you sold them at a price that was practically giving them away. Would that be a crime, Bart?
Bart: Hell, no!
Fat Tony: Enjoy your gift.
