Jessica: My sister and I did a DNA test over Christmas. No surprises there. Just plain old Chinese and Dutch. So boring.
Nick: You're not boring. And neither are you. Check those results, man.
McGee: All right. I'll check.

Nick: Wait. DNA can tell you that?
Jessica: Has Kasie taught you nothing?

Jimmy: I'm sure he's fine, Jess.
Jessica: Of course he's fine.
Jimmy: I just mean I'm sure there's an explanation for all this.
Jessica: Of course there's an explanation.
Jimmy: Exactly. Any idea what it is?

Parker: First time in history that a squirrel has ever been remotely helpful.
Jessica: That's a lot of rodent hostility. That's right. You're a bird man.

Hey, kiddo. I was just about to call you back.

Jessica; Dad? Feng

Feng: I did what I thought was best.
Jessica: For who?

Jessica: Who is this guy?
Feng: Someone who really didn't want to talk.

Jessica: Ducky's handwriting. Not that great.
Palmer: Well, he's a doctor.

You knew the man like no one else, Jimmy.

Jess: I give up; where do the tech trolls keep their caffeine?
McGee: You can't say tech troll.
Jess: You say it all the time!
McGee: Yeah, well, that's different; I am one!
Curtis: Actually, now that Director Vance put you in charge down here, you're the troll king!

Jess: This isn't about loyalty to each other or even loyalty to the badge. We're federal agents with a higher calling; our only loyalty is to the truth.
Agent Rose: Have you been practicing that?
Jess: A little.

Jess: Going up?
Agent Rose: We're in the basement; going up is the only option.
Jess: There's another one (flicks the off switch).

NCIS Quotes

Bishop: Seriously? How'd you get that?
Tony: Well, it's like Gorillas in the Midst. You'll get to understand his grunts.

Torres: When I break out the glass, maybe I can rip out the bars.
Bishop: With what? Your superhuman strength?