Evil
Sundays 10:00 PM on CBSEvil Quotes
David: This is all a game to you, isn't it?
Victor: A very serious game, and one we need to play to protect the holy.
[people chanting "guilt"] OK. Guys, guys. Everybody. That's not helping. And even if I was guilty, OK, I wouldn't crawl around on the floor like some kind of nut hitting myself, right? It doesn't do anything. [the shouts increase]
Ben
Leland: Your muse fled.
Kurt: How do I get it back?
Leland: Do you really want to know?
Kurt: Yes; that's why I'm asking.
Leland: Hemingway asked. Fitzgerald. Joyce. Mailer. Pound. But, you have to be prepared to do what they did.
Kurt: What did they do?
Leland: [takes out scissors] Use these.
Kurt: How?
Leland: Sister Andrea. Gut her hair. Cut it all off, and your muse will return.
Kurt: You're joking.
Leland: No, I'm not.
Victor: We want you to work with David and us to stop Leland. He is intent on putting your daughter on a demonic throne above the destroyed world.
Kristen: I'm sorry; what?!
Victor: You must have wondered why Leland was targeting you. Why did he go after you at court from the very beginning? Why Orsen LaRoux? Why Dwight Farrell? Why your delusions? Why your night terrors? Yes, we know everything. None of this is mysterious. It is human. This is not about you; this is about your daughter.
I had an experience, and it's thrown my life off course.
Kurt
David: So, what does the entity want from me now? Cyanide pills?
Victor: Oh, David. I never tire of your teasing.
Well, it's the American way. When in doubt, go with violence and sex.
Ben
It's official. Everyone on the internet is possessed.
Ben
Kristen: Are you getting a lot of vidtap notifications?
Ben: All the time.
Kristen: It's addictive, isn't it? I sat down to watch one video, and I was there for an hour.
Ben: It's the algorithm. The only way they make money is if you stay on it.
David: Isn't it kind of weird how it tries to predict who you are?
Kristen: Yeah, like it thinks I'm a mom who drinks a lot.
Ben: Maybe you are a mom who drinks a lot.
Leland: Your eminence. This is disgusting. Someone is trying to set me up.
Monsignor: Leland, I need to thank you for your months of service.
Leland: Monsignor, this is a lie!
Monsignor: Doesn't matter. You know better than anyone, the Church cannot risk the liability in this matter. We will, as always, give you a positive recommendation to your next ventures, but I need to ask you to leave right now.
Leland: You're gonna be sorry.
Monsignor: It's a rare day when I'm not sorry.
Sister Andrea: I don't understand the problem, David.
David: All of my visions, every single one, I see the angels as white, and the devil as black.
Sister Andrea: And so?
David: But if I'm influenced by the religious art of Michelangelo and Fra Angelico, then they're not visions! They're just a function of my mind!!
Sister Andrea: David, you're creating a problem where there isn't one, These visions are real. They are!
David: Really? Angels are white.
Sister Andrea: Don't you try to turn this into a political issue.
David: Oh, please. Don't you talk that way to me too, Sister.
Sister Andrea: What way? This isn't a race issue; this is a religious one.
David: Then why did I have a vision tonight, and the angel I saw as white, is now black?
Sister Andrea: Now you're talking like a newspaper editorial, David.
David: You say that because you're white.
Sister Andrea: I say that because I believe in God's revelation, and so do you.
David: Sister, I followed these visions for the last five years because I thought they were real. Now, I'm not sure.
David: Why is the church afraid of a black angel?
Monsignor: I think it's time we moved on. You already have your next assessment. Candice Bergnaza, a 15-year-old girl, demonic possession and infestation. She's been eating glass, and her bedroom has been making demonic noises.
Ben: Well, that sounds much safer.
