You are so mean when you're depressed.

Hannah [to Jessa]

• Permalink: You are so mean when you're depressed.
• Added: February 17, 2013

This book doesn't matter, that's the first thing you need to know. It's not gonna matter to the people who read it or to you.

Jessa

• Permalink: This book doesn't matter, that's the first thing you need to kno...
• Added: February 17, 2013

Usually when people say they wanna be a writer they really don't wanna do anything except, ya know, eat and masturbate.

Ray

• Permalink: Usually when people say they wanna be a writer they really don't...
• Added: February 17, 2013

Okay seriously, I cannot believe I have a friend who signed a book deal, it's so adult and intriguing.

Shoshanna

• Permalink: Okay seriously, I cannot believe I have a friend who signed a bo...
• Added: February 17, 2013

Hey what are you doing here only 12 minutes late?

Ray [to Hannah]

• Permalink: Hey what are you doing here only 12 minutes late?
• Added: February 17, 2013

She keeps saying she has news, but I bet she just wrote a blog post or found a new hot dog or something.

Marnie

• Permalink: She keeps saying she has news, but I bet she just wrote a blog p...
• Added: February 17, 2013

Hannah: You don't know what a pistachio is?
Hannah's Idol: It's like a little penis.

• Permalink: You don't know what a pistachio is? It's like a little penis.
• Added: February 17, 2013