Phil and Claire are speaking Italian and riding stationary bikes through Italy on screen. They're planning a trip to bike through Italy. 

Haley and Dylan are moving in and Haley is very emotional. Dyland's mom is with them. She kisses them both on the mouth. Her name is Farrah. 

Claire: Is that the way she treats all head injuries? Cause I've got a theory.

Joe wants a lizard and Jay can't say no to him. Jay and Manny investigate Jay's uncle to disprove him as a hero because they're tired of Jay dissing their family.They dug deep.

Mitch and Cam are getting clothes together to give to Haley for the babies.

They find a play girl mag in Lily's room - she's 11.

Cam: Ya' know, my parent's never talked to me about anything sexual. They just sent me to the stables when the horses were breeding and wow did that create some unreasonable expectations.

They go to talk to Lily about the magazine. She tries to leave. She says that if they don't want her looking at it, they shouldn't leave it on the sofa. Mitch looks guilty. Cam is putting 2 and 2 together. David Ducovney is on the cover.

Cam is jealous because they got busy the day Mitch says he was looking at the nudes of David. They're fighting about it. Cam's going to the gym.

Jay dresses Joe up in a Davey Crocket looking outfit and is sending him to school with a knife. Manny and Gloria are waiting in the wings to burst Jay's bubble. Manny is leading the way. 

The truth was that Eurasmus cowered during the war and snuck out of the fight in drag.

Back at the Dunphy's, Claire is hanging out with Dylan's mom in the kitchen. She's cooking homemade recipes for Haley. She's saging.

Dylan's step children come to visit when his ex-wife goes to the national guard once a month.

Phil is convinced that Dylan's mom is the sexy kitty music video chick.

Dylan's mom is called Gammy, they want Claire to be GaGa. Phil is going nuts over the mom in reference to the old video. Claire bailed with her bike.

Phil keeps punching Dyland in the head. Claire has a different idea on who Dylan's mom is.

Mitch tracks Cam down at the gym. He sucks up to Cam. Cam is checking out the guys out the window. 

Mitch: We are allowed to look at other men without feeling guilty about it.

Cam apologizes.

Jay investigates Alvaro. He found out the truth about the sleazeball, but didn't tell Joe. He wanted Joe to have an uncle to idolize.

Claire is drinking in a bar. She feels like her mother was reincarnated into Farrah.

Claire: Oh, I so want it to be on purpose. It's lonely out here on crazy island.

They reminisce about the crazy times in the house. They're still going on their trip to Italy, although they're worried Haley might give birth early.

Manny goes to talk to the librarian. He plays the sexy kitty song, and she attacks him with passion.