Favorite Joey Tribbiani Quotes
Joey: (Showing off his new, horribly tacky apartment). Huh? So what do you think? Casa de Joey. Huh? (Proudly) I decorated it myself.
Ross: Get out.
All: No!
Joey: Who's eggs do you like better, his or mine? Huh?
Chandler: Well I like both eggs equally.
Joey: Oh come on! Nobody like two different kinds of eggs equally. You like one better then the other and I wanna know which.
Chandler: Well what's the difference? Your eggs aren't here anymore are they? You took your eggs and you left! Did you really expect me never to find new eggs?
Ross: (Knocking on Joey's door) Come on.
Rachel: Joey.
Ross: Open up. We want to talk to you.
Joey: I don't feel like talking.
Rachel: Oh come on Joey, we care about you.
Chandler: We're worried about you.
Monica: And some of us really have to pee.
Rachel: (About Joey's Days of Our Lives character) Well, maybe they can find a way to bring you back.
Joey: Nah, they said that when they found my body, my brain was so smashed in that the only doctor that could have saved me was me. Supposed to be some kind of irony or something.
Rachel: So what happens next?
Joey: Well, I get the medical award for separating the Siamese twins, then Amber and I go to Venezuela to meet our other half brother "Ramon" and that's where I find the world's biggest emerald. It's really big, but it's cursed.
Chandler: God, that is good TV!
Ross: Hey guys. Does anybody know a good date place in the neighborhood?
Joey: How about Tony's? If you can finish a thirty-two-ounce steak, it's free.
Ross: Okay. Hey, does anyone know a good place if you're not dating a puma?
Ross: You spent $1200 dollars on a plastic bird?
Joey: Uh, I was an impulse buyer, near the register.
Joey: It's my VISA bill. Envelope one of two. That can't be good.
Ross: Open it, open it.
Joey: Oh, my God.
Ross: Woah.
Joey: Look at this, how did I spend so much money?
Ross: Uh Joey, that's just the minimum amount due. That's your total due.
Ross: (About Rachel's book) I, I don't know, it's got all this stuff about wind and trees and there's some kind of sacred pool in it. I mean, I don't really get it but she's, she's pretty upset about it.
Joey: See, this is why I don't date women who read.
Joey: (Wearing an old-looking hat) Hey.
Monica: Hey.
Rachel: Hey. Well, look at you, finally got that time machine working, huh?
Joey: Seriously, you like it? This guy was selling them on 8th avenue and I looked at them and I though, you know what I don't have?
Monica: A mirror?
Joey: Fine, make fun. I think it's jaunty.
Joey: Haven't you ever gotten beat up before?
Ross: Yeah.
Joey: I mean, by someone besides Monica.
Ross: No.
Joey: Hey Monica, why are we watching the business channel?
Monica: 'Cause I was going by it the other day and I saw that there was a stock with my initials, MEG, on it and, well, sometimes I have to watch for two or three hours before it comes up again but when it does, it's pretty exciting.
Rachel: Okay honey, you really need a job.
