Favorite Joey Tribbiani Quotes
C'mon, man, she's needy. She's vulnerable. I'm thinking, cha-ching!
She said she wants to slather my body with stuff and then lick it off. I'm not even sure what slathering is, but I definitely want to be a part of it.
Rachel: What happened to, uh, MEG?
Monica: MEG was good for me, but I dumped her. Ya know, my motto is "get out before they go down."
Joey: That is so not my motto!
Joey: Woah, woah, woah, uh, no Shannon Cooper.
Phoebe: Why not her?
Joey: Cause she uh, she steals stuff.
Chandler: Or maybe she doesn't steal stuff and Joey just slept with her and never called her back.
Joey: Mr. Green, why don't we go in the bedroom and put your coat on the bed?
Dr. Green: Uh, sure. That sounds like a two person job.
Joey: No, no, no, don't! I've been waiting for, like, forever to go out with Lorraine. Just calm down.
Chandler: Calm down? Calm down? You set me up with the woman that I've dumped twice in the last five months!
Chandler: Okay, so I can't fire Joseph. But, uh, I can sleep with his wife.
Joey: Karen?
Chandler: Yeah. I'm thinking about having an affair with her. You know what? I just did!
Joey: What are you trying to do to me, man?
Chandler: Oh, it wasn't me! It was my character, Chandy! The rogue processor who seduces his co-workers' wives for sport, then laughs about it the next day at the water cooler! In fact, I have her panties in my desk drawer right now!
Joey: (Looking hurt) Really?!
Chandler: No, freak show! She's fictional!
Joey: Come on, Chandler. I want this part so much. Just one kiss. I won't tell anyone.
Chandler: Joey, no means no!
Monica: Joey, you know, maybe you're just not used to kissing men. Maybe you just tensed up a little bit. Maybe that's what you need to work on.
Joey: Yeah, that makes sense.
(Joey looks over at Ross)
Ross: Over my dead body.
(Joey looks over at Chandler)
Chandler: And I'll be using his dead body as a shield.
Phoebe: We're just trying to figure out if Chandler's girlfriend is a girl.
Joey: Oh, well just ask her how long she's gonna live. Women live longer than men.
Chandler: How do you not fall down more?
Joey: They're not breaking up. Chandler and Janice, they're not breaking up. He didn't blink or anything.
Rachel: Well, you know, I'm not surprised. I mean, have you seen them together? They're really cute.
Joey: Cute? This is Janice.
Janice: I gotta go, I gotta go. Okay, not without a kiss.
Chandler: Well, maybe I won't kiss you, and then you'll have to stay.
Joey: (Under his breath) Kiss her! Kiss her!
