Favorite Joey Tribbiani Quotes
Rachel: Okay. Now this is just the first chapter, and I want your absolute honest opinion. Oh, oh, and on page two, he's not "reaching for her heaving beasts."
Monica: What's a "niffle"?
Joey: You usually find them on the "heaving beasts."
Rachel: Alright, alright, so I'm not a great typist.
Ross: Wait, did you get to the part about his "huge throbbing pens"? Tell ya, you don't wanna be around when he starts writing with those!
Rachel: Alright, that's it. Give them back.
Phoebe: Oh, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, no. I just got to the part about her "public hair."
I can't believe you said woowoo. I don't even say woowoo.
Monica: Joey just saw Janice kissing her ex-husband.
Ross: What? (To Joey) So what are you going to do? I mean how, how are you going to tell Chandler?
Joey: Well, I was thinking about that and I, I think the best way would be, to not.
Rachel: Joey, you can't keep this to yourself, if you know about this, you have to tell him.
Joey: It'll kill him. I mean it'll, it'll just kill him.
Phoebe: Well, you could wait 'til I go to the dentist, maybe I'll kill him.
Monica: Okay, Ben, I won't tell your daddy that you had ice cream for dinner, if you don't tell about our little bonking incident.
Rachel: Monica, number one, I don't think Ben understands the concept of bribery, and number two, I... (Joey starts laughing) What?!
Joey: You said number two.
Rachel: I also said number one.
Joey: I know. (Laughs harder)
Ross: Okay, I have a problem I have to go into work for a few hours. Some kids messed up the Homo Sapien display.
Joey: What did they do?
Ross: Well, they painted over the word "Sapien" for one thing, then they rearranged the figures. Let's just leave it at that.
Chandler: Do you think these pearls are nice?
Joey: I'd really prefer a mountain bike.
Phoebe: (About Ugly Naked Guy) He's alive! He's a-live!
Monica: And yet, we're still poking him.
Joey: Okay, retract the device, retract the device.
Ross: He does not look happy.
Rachel: Hey, now he's showing us his poking device.
Joey: Hey, that's never gonna make it all the way over here, buddy!
Joey: You don't think my mom's sexy?
Ross: Well, not in the same way...
Joey: I'll have you know that Gloria Tribbiani was a handsome woman in her day, alright? You think it's easy giving birth to seven children?
Ross: Okay, I think we're getting into a weird area here...
Something this big and long is going to be difficult to maneuver, fortunately I have a lot of experience in that area.
Joey: Ugly Naked Guy looks awfully still.
Phoebe: Oh my God! I killed him! I killed another one! And this curse is getting stronger, too, to bring down something that big.
Rachel: What're you guys doing out here?
Ross: Well, not playing raquetball!
Joey: He forgot to leave his grip size!
Ross: He didn't get the goggles!
Rachel: Well,sounds like you two have issues.
Monica: Okay, looks like Ross and I are captains. Okay, so, um, I bunnied first so that means I get to pick first. Joey.
Joey: Thank you.
Rachel: Monica, I'm your best friend.
Ross: Sweetie, don't worry you'll get picked. Chandler.
Rachel: Ross!
Monica: Phoebe.
Ross: Sweetie, now I pick you.
Rachel: You don't pick me! You're stuck with me!
