Favorite Joey Tribbiani Quotes
Joey: Are you just getting home? It's late.
Rachel: Yeah, I know. I had the best day, though. I got to sit in on a meeting with the reps from Calvin Klein, I told my boss I liked this new line of lingerie, she ordered a ton of it . . . how was your day?
Joey: I discovered I'm able to count all of my teeth using just my tongue.
Joey: Amy just burned Jo's manuscript. I don't see how he could ever forgive her!
Ross: Uh, Jo's a girl, it's short for Josephine.
Joey: But Jo's got a crush on Laurie. Oh, you mean it's like a a girl-girl thing? Cause that's the one thing missing from The Shining!
Chandler: No actually Laurie's a boy.
Joey: No wonder Rachel had to read this so many times!
Ross: Come on. Seriously Joey, what's the part?
Joey: I'm his... (Mumbles)
Rachel: You're, you're 'mah mah mah' what?
Joey: I'm his butt double. Okay? I play Al Pacino's butt. All right? He goes into the shower, and then I'm his butt.
Director: And cut. Hey, Butt Guy, what the hell are you doing?
Joey: Well, I'm showering.
Director: No, that was clenching.
Joey: Oh. Well, the way I see it, the guy's upset here, you know? I mean, his wife's dead, his brother's missing. I think his butt would be angry here.
Joey: (To Chandler and Monica) Hey, does anybody else feel bad about Ross?
Monica: Why? Do you think he's still mad at us?
Chandler: (To Joey) Well, he's probably mad after you called him this morning to borrow his goggles.
Joey: What? Mine aren't tinted.
Joey: (Trying to unlock the car) Relax okay? I, I, I can get this open. Anybody have a coat hanger?
Chandler: Oh, I do! Uh, no, wait a minute, I took it out of my shirt when I put it on this morning.
Monica: So, if you're parents hadn't got divorced, you'd be able to answer a question like a normal person?
All: (About Joey's play) Hey! You're in a play! I didn't know you could dance! You had a beard!
Joey: What'd you think?
(Pause)
All: ...Hey! You're in a play! I didn't know you could dance! You had a beard!
Monica: So you guys don't mind going out with someone who's going out with someone else?
Joey: I couldn't do it.
Monica: Good for you, Joey.
Joey: When I'm with a woman, I need to know that I'm going out with more people than she is.
Joey: Smokey Joe here got half way to the highway and collapsed.
Chandler: I have the lung capacity of a two year old. (Starts to light another cigarette)
Monica: Then why are you smoking?
Chandler: Well it's very unsettling.
Phoebe: I had a dream last night that Rachel and Ross were still together and we were all here hanging out.
Joey: I had the same dream.
Phoebe: Yeah, and no one slept with the Xerox girl.
Joey: Oh, I had the opposite dream.
Joey: It's never taken me more than a week to get over a relationship.
Monica: It's never taken you more than a shower to get over a relationship.
Joey: (To Ross) We want you to be happy. And I may only have a couple beers in me, but... I love you, man.
Chandler: I'm still on my first. I... I just think you're nice.
