Frasier
Thursdays on Paramount+Frasier Quotes
Frasier: Do they give out prizes for Best Father?
Alan: I believe they give out mugs, but I don’t think they’re terribly exclusive.
Freddy: It’s just, you have no idea how hard it is to explain to a woman that I’m a grown man living with my Dad.
Frasier: Right. I couldn’t possibly imagine what that’s like.
Freddy: You won’t let me do anything to help out around here. I mean, you pay the bills, you cook half my meals.
Frasier: Which I am happy to do. You’re my son.
Freddy: But I’m also an adult. I spent a long time on my own. I’m used to pulling my own weight. I don’t need you stocking the fridge with pudding cups.
Frasier: You eat those.
Freddy: Not the butterscotch.
Hey, by the way, you could really lock your door. We live in Boston. They literally named a strangler after us.
Freddy [to Eve]
Freddy: Why are you making pastries?
Frasier: Well, I’ve embarrassed myself twice with Provost Sharma in my attempts to get a professorship.
Freddy: So, you’re being responsible, cutting your losses, and trying again next year. I’m kidding, of course. Please tell me your stupid plan.
Freddy: I know you’re taking this kinda hard, but it’s really not the end of the world.
David: Says the guy with brains and brawn who can eat all the tree nuts he wants.
Freddy: Buddy, it’s just a B.
David: To anyone else, it’s just a B. But I’m a Crane. You know what it’s like.
Freddy: Oh yeah. The Crane Curse. Nothing’s ever good enough. There’s always a shiner object just out of reach.
David: Exactly. You always have to get the highest grade. Win every award.
Freddy: Spend every summer at Trigonometry Camp.
David: While all your friends are taking it easy at Algebra Camp. Why is our family like this?
Freddy: I don’t know. I mean, growing up, I felt like I had to constantly prove I deserved to be in this family.
David: How did you deal with the expectations?
Freddy: I guess I could until I couldn’t. Then, one lecture, I just walked out and never walked back in.
David: Because of the pressure?
Freddy: Because I wasn’t happy.
Frasier: Surely, there must be some sort of an alternate route to professorship, a Crane lane, if you will.
Alan: Well, you know, Olivia, Frasier, and I have the same level of education. We have the same experience as psychiatrists. We’re basically doing the same job, except that I’m a professor and he’s not.
Olivia: And you think that’s unfair?
Alan: No, I’m just gloating.
Frasier: Freddy, what’s going on? Are you pontificating?
Moose: When Freddy gets drunk, he gets wicked smart.
Freddy: That’s so reductive.
Smokey: See. He sounds like you. What a nerd.
I have never gotten a B in my life. What’s next? A face tattoo that reads Do Crime?
David
Frasier: It’ll be my time to shine once I show Frederick his gift.
Alan: Ah, a pen. Are you going to use it to write down what the present is?
Frasier: Growing up, Freddy’s favorite book was The Cather in the Rye. So, I did some legwork today, and I was able to secure this pen once owned by J. D. Salinger.
Eve: Freddy, maybe this is a chance for you and your parents to work things out.
Freddy: Give me one good reason I should try.
Eve: Because my son will never be in the same room with both his parents, but you have an opportunity here.
