Friends Season 3 Episode 14: "The One with Phoebe's Ex-Partner" Quotes
Ross: (About Rachel attending a lecture with Mark) Well, I'm sorry, but, ah, look if you're not working with him anymore, why do you have to still do stuff with him?
Rachel: Because, he's my friend.
Ross: Okay, but do you really need another friend? I mean...
Rachel: Okay, well if I stop playing with Joey and Chandler, can I play with Mark?
Ross: Is that funny? Am I supposed to be laughing?
Ross: I don't know, you thought "See you Saturday" was funny.
Joey: It was like four years ago. Okay, Ginger and I had gone out a few times, and then this one weekend, we went up to her Dad's cabin. Just me, her, and her annoying little dog Pepper. Well that night, I cooked this really romantic dinner...
Monica: You gave her food poisoning?!
Joey: I wish. No. After dinner, me, her, and Pepper all fell asleep in front of the fire. Well I woke up in the middle of the night and I saw that the fire was dying out. So, I picked up a log and threw it on. Or, at least what I thought was a log.
Phoebe: Oh, my God! You threw Pepper on the fire!
Joey: I wish. See, I guess another thing I probably should have told you about Ginger is that she kinda has a, ah, artificial leg.
Monica: Oh, my God! Joey, what did you do after you threw her leg on the fire?
Joey: I ran!
Monica: (About Leslie) Wow, she must have hurt you pretty bad, huh?
Phoebe: Well, yeah. You know, we were best friends, ever since we were little, our Moms worked on the barge together.
Monica: Oh, you two must have been so cute running around on a barge.
Phoebe: You never run on a barge!
Rachel: I've got some bad news.
Ross: What?
Rachel: I can get a quick bite to eat, but then I have to come back up here.
Ross: Come on sweetie! You've had to work late every night for the past two weeks, what is it this time?
Mark: Actually, it's kinda my fault. I, I quit today.
Ross: (To Rachel) But work comes first!
Leslie: Well, I, you know, I was just, um, I was just thinking and hoping, that um, maybe you'd want to get back together?
Phoebe: No. But thanks.
Leslie: Aw, come on Phoebe, would you just think about it?
Phoebe: Okay. (Pretends to think about it) No. But thanks.
Ross: A hundred million people went to see a movie about what I do. I wonder how many people would go see a movie called Jurassic Parka.
Rachel: Oh, that is so--
Ross: No, no, no, a bunch of out-of-control jackets take over an island! (Ross gasps and throws off his jacket).
(About Leslie) When we were playing together, that was the best time I've had in, like, all my lives.
Monica: My milk's gone bad.
Chandler: I hate that. I once had a thing of half-and-half, stole my car.
Chandler: Just had me a little nubbinectomy. Yep! Two nipples, no waiting.
Monica: Wow. Just like Rachel in High School.
Rachel: What?
Monica: Come on! Come on, I was kidding! It was such an obvious joke!
Chandler: That was an obvious joke; and I didn't think of it. Why didn't I think of it? The source of all my powers! Oh dear God, what have I done!
Leslie: Okay, my next song's called, "Phoebe Buffay, What Can I Say? I Really Loved When We Were Singing Partners, And I Shouldn'ta Left You That Way."
Phoebe: Oh no, one of those look-for-the-hidden-meaning songs.
