New Girl
Tuesdays 8:30 PM on FOXPopular New Girl Quotes
Paul is the all-time worst crier. It's like a slow motion sneeze.
Jess
Old people freak me out. With their hands and their legs. They're like the people version of pleated pants.
Schmidt
Caroline is way hotter than that voice in my head who sounds like Tom Waits and tells me I look bad in hats.
Nick
Jess, first of all, you're never gonna be old, humans are going to be immortal by 2026. Second of all, give me your phone. You have backslider written all over you.
Schmidt
CeCe: Are you "White Fanging" me?
Schmidt: What?
CeCe: White Fang? The only book you have on your Kindle. The book you wouldn't stop talking about, and I said, "Would you please stop talking about White Fang" and then you said, "Someday, I'm gonna do that to somebody".
What's wrong? You're stress-eating meat.
Jess [to Schmidt]
Schmidt: I get that. Your business is selling sex. You're a sex worker.
CeCe: You're an idiot.
How's the new apartment? Does it smell like new paint and compromise?
Jess [to Nick]
When Nick leaves, I'm gonna call a plumber and just throw money at him while he works.
Schmidt
I'm worried about Schmidt, he's a Jew in the desert I don't want him to wander.
Winston
Jess: I thought we talked about you not wearing your shower diaper in the kitchen!
Schmidt: Excuse me? Do you think this has been easy? To wash myself wearing a penis cast all summer?
I could pretend to be more like you, Jess, and live on a sparkly rainbow and drive a unicorn around and just sing all the time.
Nick
