John’s been up forever, just like me. Why won’t he nap? I would strangle everyone in this room for a nap.

Eve

• Permalink: John’s been up forever, just like me. Why won’t he nap? I would strangle everyone in this...
• Added: October 11, 2023

Don’t get me wrong. I love the guy, but he snores like a paint mixer and spends more time getting ready in the bathroom than a runway model.

Eve

• Permalink: Don’t get me wrong. I love the guy, but he snores like a paint mixer and spends more time...
• Added: October 11, 2023

Dear God, some people will not be helped. I could put the two of you in a boat with life preservers on top of a sand dune, and you’d still find a way to drown.

Frasier

• Permalink: Dear God, some people will not be helped. I could put the two of you in a boat with life...
• Added: October 11, 2023

You work with firefighters, men who can sprint down a staircase carrying another person over their shoulders. But rather than ask them to help, you ask your cousin, David, whose greatest athletic achievement is almost crawling into a hammock.

Frasier

• Permalink: You work with firefighters, men who can sprint down a staircase carrying another person over...
• Added: October 11, 2023

You don’t want someone walking into your apartment seeing my stupid, garish things. You find them embarrassing. In fact, I’m not so sure you don’t find me embarrassing.

Freddy

• Permalink: You don’t want someone walking into your apartment seeing my stupid, garish things. You find...
• Added: October 11, 2023

I hope you’re hungry because this irony is delicious.

Frasier

• Permalink: I hope you’re hungry because this irony is delicious.
• Added: October 11, 2023

Frasier: Why is this called Scootch?
Freddy: Because they can’t legally call it Scotch.

• Permalink: Because they can’t legally call it Scotch.
• Added: October 11, 2023